She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
