Me. At least after what I've been through.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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