my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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