You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
