Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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