I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
