She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
