first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
