So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
