i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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