Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
