She said her name was "party"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
