Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
