My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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