We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
