Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize