you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
