I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
