guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There was a lot of him and a little penis
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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