what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
