You really coming over, don't trick.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
