Duck Duck Cougar?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
