I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
