guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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