I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize