spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My vagina just recognized that song.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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