I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He did a backflip because drugs
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