Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
