You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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