do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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