you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
