New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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