i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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