You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
