That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
