we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize