New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize