roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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