so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize