I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you would pick up someone in the library
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
