I swear she didn't look like that last week.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize