I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
