the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
