I accidentally burped into my bong.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
