The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
