was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
