yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
