Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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