I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
