Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
