i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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