check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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