Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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