I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can text with my tongue
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
