i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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