I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
