If that was your dad, he is hot
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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