"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
