It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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