I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
