a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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