Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have aggressive nipples.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
